![]() Now that the Sender has said all they have to say and the Receiver has mirrored, validated and empathized, the whole process reverses. How to Empathize: “I can imagine you might be feeling…”Ĭheck it Out: “Is that how you feel?” Finish Doing so, especially when you are lucky enough to hit the proverbial nail on the head, will often bring a look of recognition and joy to your partner’s face faster than anything else you could say. Try to include some “feeling” words if you can, in this step. The best way we have come to distinguish the difference between a thought and a feeling, is that a feeling can generally be described in one or two words: e.g., happy, excited, safe, cared for, hurt, frustrated, scared. (you’re the only one working on our relationship).” However, it’s important to know that once the word “like” comes into play, what’s being expressed is is a thought, not a feeling. When sending empathy, it is fine to say something such as: “I can imagine you feel like …. If, however, the Receiver can think of an additional way their partner might be feeling, this is where they can add that. If the Sender has already said how they feel, then the Receiver can simply reflect this back once more. In the final step, Empathy, the Receiver takes a guess as to what they imagine the Sender might be feeling with regard to what they have been saying. How to Validate: “You make sense to me because…” orĪsk for clarification: “This part (X) makes sense, but help me understand,Ĭan you say more about…?” STEP THREE: EMPATHIZE If it does not, the Receiver will simply share what does make sense, then ask the Sender to say more about the parts that do not yet make sense. Once the Sender says there is “no more”, the Receiver will attempt to validate what the Sender has said by letting the Sender if what they have been saying is making logical sense to the Receiver. How to Mirror: “If I got it, I think you said…” or “So you’re saying…”Īsk if there’s more: “Is there more?” or “Tell me more.” STEP TWO: VALIDATE You may paraphrase, but you will mirror without analyzing, critiquing, modifying or responding. In the Mirroring step, when your partner pauses, or perhaps when you have asked them to pause, you will repeat back everything you heard them say. There are 3 main steps to the Imago Dialogue: It is when you are in the role of the Receiver that you will be doing the three main steps of Dialogue. This gives you a person who is speaking, we say “sending”, and another who is listening, or “receiving”. In the Imago Dialogue both parties agree to a basic ground rule: to talk one person at-a-time. ![]() Who doesn’t need better communication? Getting Started: The Basic Dialogue Ground Rule ![]()
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